The Head and the Heart

Some people say that the head and the heart think differently. Some say to be smart and listen to what your head is saying. Others say to listen to your heart.
There comes a time when the head and the heart are clearly thinking differently and you have to make a decision of which to listen to. Today I had to make that choice. I chose the heart. I know what I should do (listen to my head) but something inside of me also said to listen to my heart just this once and see what happens. I don't know which we all should really listen to but maybe sometimes it is good to listen to your heart. The heart is so much more vulnerable and it is much more risky to listen to your heart when there is a chance of it getting hurt. But it is also much more worth it when things work out. I'm almost positive that I will get hurt in the end but what's life if you don't take chances? Some things are worth the risk.
I guess you could say that I'm lost in my mind. I'm lost in my thoughts, thinking about all the possibilities that could happen from listening to my heart. I'm thinking of all the worst possibilities of course. The only thing we can really do is chose the head or the heart and go for it. So that's what I did/am doing.
Everyone tells me I deserve better, and that is what my head is telling me too. Maybe I'm stupid for not listening to my head and maybe I'm just being selfish. Just for once, I'd like things to work out in my favor and maybe that small glimpse of hope is what made me chose my heart. Or maybe I just don't know what I deserve, so I settle for what I think I deserve. "We accept the love we think we deserve." The only thing I can do now is let time do its thing and see what happens.
My friend once told me to make the guy work for me. I shouldn't have to try. For once, that's what I'm doing. It's so unusual to me, letting the guy have total control over the situation. In other words, making my heart completely vulnerable but at the same time keeping it in my possession.
Once again, I settle for what I can get which is an awful thing to do. I just don't know what I deserve because I've never had it before. I'd like to think that some day I will will find someone who makes me their first priority and is completely mine. And this person won't make me chose the head or the heart because they will both agree. It will become the head and the heart. But this is a fairytale. Something I have never seen come true in my own life. Sure, that's depressing that I don't believe this can be true for me but unfortunately that's my outlook on love and relationships right now. Not knowing what you deserve is the worst thing. It messes you up and you just settle for anything.
Hopefully listening to my heart right now is a good decision for me but I won't know for a while.