Five Years Later

Well, it's over. My five years as an undergraduate student has come to an end and I can only write this "short" blog post about what I've learned, gained, and taken with me.

Friends
I have made a million friends at SUU. At one point I knew almost everyone (until I got to my fifth year and half of them graduated). I've been lucky enough to go to a University where friends and acquaintances become better friends and even friends for a life time. A quick shout out to a few who have been there for me since day one. Shannon and Marissa, my very first friends at SUU. I'm so grateful I met these two on move in day and became friends with them instantly. I totally still text them for boy advice all the time. Dani, another friend I met my first year and am able to go to with anything at any time. Mark, who quickly became one of my very best friends five years ago and don't know what I would do without, even though he doesn't claim me as a best friend (yet). There are many many more who have always and forever will be there for me and I'll be there for them.

Presidential Ambassadors
I joined this organization my third year, when I was at a low point in my leadership confidence and it was truly a blessing. It changed my life forever. Every year in the organization, I gained new family members. I got to see the influence I had on students as they made their decision in picking a University. I poured my heart, soul, and love for SUU into this organization and couldn't have imagined those three years any differently. I love each and every one of you guys.

Three Major Changes and A Minor Change
Picking something to major in was one of the harder things I've done in my life. I started as a Chemistry Major, and then decided to do Math sometime in my third year. The semester before my last, I changed my emphasis from Education to Pure. My minor also changed from Photography to Graphic Design. Even though it has been a journey and a pain in the peach emoji, it helped me find out what I wanted and who I really was. Don't ever think something is a waste, because no matter what, you learn something about yourself while doing it.

One Study Abroad and Alternative Break
Almost one year ago I got back from the biggest life changing trip of my life. As you all know, I went on an Africa study abroad and it changed everything for me. I've decided that I have a huge passion of serving while traveling and helping those in underdeveloped countries. Some people get ice cream or go home when they are in a rut, but I travel to do service. Am I in debt because of it? Basically, but the feeling of serving is by far one of the best feelings I've ever had. This passion led me to going on an Alternative Break during my last Spring Break of college. I went to Costa Rica and helped the poorest town in San Jose. Red Heart emoji times five. If you have the opportunity (which is everywhere at SUU) to do some sort of study abroad or travel, then do it! Especially when in school.

A Few Heartbreaks
A few from some boys, some from friends, not getting jobs or leadership positions, and one from leaving SUU of course. During these last five years, I've experienced heart break like never before. It hurts. A lot. But what I learned from each one of them is that it does get better, there are better people and opportunities FOR SURE. It's not the end of the world and I do heal a lot quicker now because of it. I wouldn't have it any other way.

A Degree
I know I sort of already talked about this, but I need to give a shout out to anyone who will be, is or ever was a Math Major. My fellow Mathematicians, I truly think we are idiots for putting ourselves through that, but we are the smartest and strongest people ever. (I really think it is the hardest thing/major in the world). Many tears, temper tantrums, late ELC nights, procrastination, calling mom, re-thinking life choices, yelling, and bothering classmates for help was put into that degree. Huge shout out to all my classmates who helped me pass every class. Another huge shout out to my calculator, Bud, for getting me through four years of high school and five years of college without dying a single time. You the real MVP and ILY.

A Home
Choosing to come to Southern Utah University was the greatest decision I've ever made. If I started over and did it all over again, I would choose SUU EVERY SINGLE TIME. Since I live eight hours away and only go home 1-2 times a year, SUU and Cedar City became my home and safe haven. I love the mountains and clean air. I love the nice people. I love Roberto's and Cafe Rio. I love the rain and snow (never fell once). I love Park Discovery and the concerts held there. I love all the free T-shirts and polos I've gotten. I love Cedar Hall North and ELC 112. I love a lot of things and will forever and ever.

Here's a picture from my first year of college, still tan from California, and the comparison to how white I've gotten while being in Cedar for five years. Cheers.

Five Years

You might have already heard but, let me just update you on my life really quick.

I'M GRADUATING THIS APRIL!!!

Why is this bigger news than usual? Well, let me tell you. I first came to SUU in Fall of 2011 as a Chemistry major. I soon developed a math minor and wasn't doing too great in Chemistry. This made me have to make the decision of what I should really major in. Long story short, I ended up in Mathematics with an emphasis in Education. So, here I am for the next three years going along as usual. Then, long story short again, I didn't have time to study enough for the test I needed to pass in order to student teach this month. My plan B failed as well so I was a wreck. Not passing this test meant that I would not be able to graduate in April, 2016 as planned. I would have to try to take the test again and pass it before Fall of 2016, when I would then student teach. This wasn't working for me. I was so close to finishing and I wasn't going to just sit around doing nothing for a semester. So, I decided to change my emphasis to Pure Mathematics. This meant that I could fit all of my remaining classes into one semester and finish! But wait, that's not the end of the story. The remaining classes I needed were as follows: Intro to Computer Science, Physics & Physics lab, Numerical Analysis, Complex Analysis, Actuarial Sciences. Have you ever tried to take that load on before? I wasn't about to try. So I decided that I would take everything except Physics & Physics lab this semester and plan on going as a part time student in the Fall. I was okay with this decision. 

*For the record, I feel absolutely wonderful about changing my emphasis and not teaching anymore. I don't feel regret or sadness. I was really nervous about teaching, and going to the high school every week last semester gave me anxiety. While I loved being in the classroom once I showed up, I never felt confident.* 

Now, here I am with two classes left to graduate and I get the idea of walking in April but technically not graduating until December after I finish those remaining classes. So I made an appointment with my advisor to see if this was possible. She is new to SUU so she was messaging some other advisors to try to answer my questions. It wasn't looking good. They were all saying that I could walk but technically would not be put on the program or anything until the following academic year. Then, my old advisor of four years walks in and says something like, "let's try all these different things and get you to graduate." We looked at all of the following things: taking the class in the summer so it would be this years academic year, changing my catalog year, and switching around some courses/switching out some courses for similar ones. We found out that the Physics classes are no longer required in the new catalogs; so we decided to ask the head of the Math department if he would waive that class completely or switch it out for another physical science class that I have already taken. He agreed!!! Therefore, the only classes I need to graduate now are the current ones I'm taking! (side note, the head of the Math department also switched out Complex for another class so I wouldn't have to wait another entire year to graduate) So, if I pass my classes this semester, I will be officially, real life, for reals, one hundred percent graduating this Spring, April of 2016!!!

Southern Utah University is super awesome and I would in no way be graduating right now if I was not currently attending this amazing university. The advisors, professors and staff do everything they can to get you what is best for you. 

Here is another quick side story: I decided to take another art class (because I'm a Graphic Design minor) in order to build my portfolio but, the only class that would fit into my schedule was Special Problems. The requirement to take this class was that you were in the BFA program. Since I am only a minor, I never had to apply and be accepted into the program. So, I emailed the professor and told him I simply wanted more pieces for my portfolio and asked to be signed into the class. He had never met me before and had no idea who I was. Other professors were even willing to give recommendations to him for me! He quickly emailed me back and said he would sign me in! When I went to his office to get the paper signed, we talked for a good half hour about future careers for Graphic Designers and Mathematicians combined. It blew my mind how easy it was to get into the class and how nice all the professors were about it.

Yes, it has taken my five years to graduate and I never thought I actually would. Do I wish I could have graduated last year? No. Do I feel like a loser being a fifth year? Sometimes, to be honest. Would I change anything? Absolutely not. Here is a list of things that have changed my life every year while being here at SUU that I wouldn't have had at any other university.

1. Have the best year of college by far and make my first ever life long close friendships with handfuls of individuals.

2. Grow immensely as a person through trials, examples of friends, finding myself and pushing through the hard times. [Growing Up]

3. Join the Presidential Ambassador organization and gain three years worth of friends and family for a lifetime.

4. Fulfill my life dream of going to Africa and taking pictures of lions + meet five people that have absolutely made a difference in my life.

5. Learning to care about myself more and what I need as well as what makes me feel happy. Discovered that serving others is an important part of life and makes me feel good. Spontaneously signed up to volunteer in Costa Rica to make other people feel good. And who knows what is in store for the next three months!

 

This Little American Went to Market

The past couple of days, I have thought about my experiences in Africa quite frequently. I've been wanting to write a post about the huge differences we saw in such small areas covered, ever since we've been back. And now I am.

While in Africa, we went to several different markets and stores, all of which gave me different experiences. One of the first shopping experiences we had was at a large outlet mall type of place. We went to the ATM to get some cash for the smaller markets we were told we would be going to. We had some extra time so we walked around these stores that were exactly what you would see in any American mall; buildings with doors and locks and cash registers with money. None of us bought anything at these places because they had "normal" things such as suits and ties, house decor, sport equipment, etc. (Unfortunately none of us got pictures of the more Americanized places.)

We then all piled in the van to go just down the street to our first market experience. We pulled up onto a grass lot surrounded by shacks. Keep in mind, this place was literally just down the street from the mall.

 

Yes, people do sell their items in these shacks.  Right when all of us got out of the van, tons of people came out of their shacks and started calling us over, wanting us to go into their store. We separated into groups to go look at all the different things for sale. My group left me for dead real quick (jerks). I still love them but once you got sucked in, you were in. The first place I visited was the older lady pictured below. The things she said to me were along the lines of "I'll give you the best prices. Please cici (sister), my family is hungry." They would just say those things over and over while you were looking at all of their trinkets. When you finally decided on something, which was usually just one item because you want to support all the hundreds of other people there, they would try to sell more to you. They were all very nice but it was hard not to buy their entire store.

 As I was walking out of her store, she told me which direction to go, saying "go this way to my sisters/daughters." At this point, you feel bad just leaving them. You literally get sucked in and can't leave because of guilt. I moved onto the next shack where I bought two canvas paintings (some of my favorite purchases). She was extrememly nice and gave me a good price. As I was leaving, again she pushed me towards her sister. I think I bought a wood carving of a giraffe and zebra like the leopard she is holding.

 I think those were the only people I bought things from but I honestly can't remember. At one point I remember getting away and telling them "I might come back" and caught up to my group. As we walked back again they were yelling at me from the shacks that I told them I would come back. This was the ultimate guilt trip so I went back and bought the canvases and wood carvings. (Not positive about that timeline.)
Most of us got tired of that market really fast and just hung around the van until everyone was ready to go. When we got back in the van, no one said a word for what seemed like forever. Finally we started talking about how awful it was that these people live day to day selling their hand made items in their shacks. One student with us said she got out her granola bar to eat and they man in the store asked if he could have it. They depend on tourists to buy souvenirs. We were the only tourists in sight, so I don't think they get much business. It was hard to handle especially since we had just come from the NCP orphanage that morning. It was by far the most emotional day for all of us. Tears were shed but there was not much we could do.

The next day, we went to a grocery store, two other markets and bought some guava off the side of the road.
There were two boys on the side of the freeway selling buckets of guava. They were SO CUTE. Needless to say, we bought all the guavas they had, and our van smelled so bad for the rest of the trip. So if you ever find yourself in Africa buying guava off the side of the road, either eat it right away or drive away and dump it somewhere. I seriously almost threw up several times from the stench, not gonna lie.

 

Next, we went to the Manzini Market, my personal favorite. There were TONS of vendors and they didn't beg at all. They were more stingy on us taking their pictures though. I bought a lot from this market including one of the ceramic bowls pictured, soap stone figurines, key chains and bracelets. The young woman pictured, left an impression on me. I took her picture after buying something from her and showed her and she said "oh that's beautiful!" I was expecting her to say she was ugly or gross or something like Americans always do, but instead she thought she was beautiful. I will always admire this about Swazis. Another woman was selling tomatoes and was such a good sport about modeling for us. Haha! There was one young man who was trying to convince me and Braydon to take him back to the states. It was so funny because he was so serious. We wish we could have!

 Can we talk about how American we look in that picture? Ha!

 The next market was a little different than Manzini. For the most part, they were friendly and didn't beg. Most vendors set up on the ground on a tarp or chairs.

 Can I just say how amazed I was by what they carry on their heads! This woman had a baby on her back and a huge bag of something on her head. What???

 The remaining pictures are at a local grocery store, which is pretty much the same as America but harder to find things and different brands. The last picture was on our second day (first full day) and there were soap stone carvers set up on the side of the road. We pulled over and all bought some soap stone figurines.

 To sum up this super long post, be grateful that you don't have to sit and paint or carve wood figurines for hours just to sell them for what is worth pennies in America just to buy a meal for the night. Also, if you get the opportunity to go to Africa, GO. There is still one spot open for the same SUU Study Abroad trip I went on if you want to go, which you do. The deadline is January 15th I believe, so go apply and have your life changed. Much love.

Life Changing

I've been back from Africa for about a week now and to be honest, it's been hard being back. We did a lot of different things in Africa but there were a few that had a huge impact on me when coming back to America.

The first was one of the "orphanages" we visited; Shewula. This orphanage was more like a primary where the young children would come to learn a lesson or two and then leave to go back to their homes where they would not go back to parents, but older siblings to take care of them (not all, but most). We went there to play with the children, give small gifts and feed them lunch. The children looked very confused when we first arrived. You could tell these were very unfortunate children. Some of them were not even wearing pants or underwear. The kids that did have clothes on had clothes with many holes in them. A lot of us had wished we would have brought clothes instead of toys but we had no idea what we were walking into.

The kids didn't look excited to see us or happy at all. The teachers had them line up and then had a few choose who they wanted to go to. One child came to me and I sat down and opened up some play dough that we had brought. The child had no idea what it was so we tried to show them how to play with it. We eventually broke out the balloons which they had tons of fun with! They loved just carrying them and hitting them. One child got really attached to me and kept hitting the balloon at me until I would hit it back and forth with him. This went on until lunch. After we played for a while with them all, it was time for lunch. Before I talk about lunch, I have to inform you that these kids were very unhealthy from not eating very much. They were all very bloated and had discolored hair. For lunch we made pap, (corn meal and water) which is their main source of food, and a small piece of chicken. We filled the plate with pap and handed the plates out to the kids. Us SUU students got our food last and I was serving so I didn't go in to sit with the students until they were half way done eating already. When I went in to sit down, a lot of the students already had finished their entire plate and were scraping the bones clean of chicken. They were eating every crumb off the plate and the floor. One child was in front of me eating, and another child had finished his food and came over to the first child's plate and began taking everything of his, his chicken, pap and even his drink. This was very hard to watch. All of us SUU students eventually ended up giving all our food to the kids who had finished their food. We couldn't stand to eat when they were starving. After lunch, we went outside and taught them how to brush their teeth. Some of the SUU students had gotten toothpaste and toothbrushes donated so we handed those out. We also had a lot of little toys left such as bracelets, toy cars and bouncy balls that we handed out. We then tried our hardest to put on strong faces and smiles as we said our goodbyes to the kids. I truly believe we made a difference that day. The children were a lot more happy at the end of our visit than when we first got there. It was really rewarding and sometimes I just have to think about how happy we made them rather than how unfortunate they are.

Photo Credit: Celine Cont.

Shewula definitely hit us the hardest. For me, Shewula is a place I have thought of every day since I've been back. It is really difficult to hear people say things like "so are there really starving kids in Africa?" I respond with "yes, it is true." Then they proceed to joke about it or say "that sucks, while we are here eating all this great food right now." Why would you joke about that? Situations like this, since I've been back, have been really difficult to deal with. Another thing is just the small comments college students make about needing to go shopping because they don't like any of their clothes or how much they hate their job, ect. I can't blame them because this is how we have lived our whole lives; blessed beyond measure. I wish everyone could have had the same experience as I had at Shewula but the only thing I can do right now is educate people about how some parts of Africa really are and get others to go over there and do their part.

The second thing that I think about almost daily now are two conversations I had about water. We went to a refugee camp to help a couple from the Peace Corp (read their blog here) organize their library. A high school graduate, Augustine, came in to talk with us and I got into a pretty good conversation with him. At first we just talked about school and American and African differences. Then I asked about food and what they eat and he just said they rely on crops and they haven't had a lot of rain lately so the crops haven't been doing very well. I had no idea what that meant and kept asking "so what do you eat when the crops die?" He never really answered me and then I realized that there isn't an answer because they literally have nothing when they don't have crops. Katherine from the Peace Corps chimed in and explained more to me; if there is no rain, they have no water for the crops and if the crops die, the cattle have nothing to eat and then the people have no cattle to sell for food. It is all a big cycle that is centered around water, which they have very little of.

Right after we finished organizing the library we walked over to a little school where the Peace Corps couple teaches. We stood in on a lesson, which was about AIDS and HIV. We went out to the field where they played a game to show what AIDS and HIV are and how they affect the body. These students were about thirteen years old. I was standing next to one thirteen year old boy that kept asking me questions about how old I was, (he thought I was forty!) if I was married and other questions about America.

Boy: "Do you live in a desert?"
Me: "Yeah, sort of."
Boy: "Is there water?"
Me: "Yeah"
Boy: "Do you have easy access to it?"
Me: "Yeah, everyone drinks a lot of water usually."
Boy: "Americans drink too much water."

With every one of my answers, the boy seemed more and more shocked.
This conversation really got me thinking about how easy it is for us to get water. There wasn't a single person while I was in Africa that I saw with a water bottle or a cup with water. In order to have water, the women will walk to a water source (usually a lake type thing from what I saw) and fill buckets with water and carry it miles back to their homes to use for that day/week. Americans really don't understand how lucky we are.

 Before I went to Africa, everything I ever heard about it was just something I heard about it, if that makes sense. Yeah, there are poor people in Africa, and starving children and safaris and it's hot...blah blah. But it was a real awakening when I went there and it was all real. It wasn't just words anymore but real experiences embedded in my heart forever. So now, when I hear Americans talk about pointless things, it really takes a toll on me. It will be a hard adjustment to get used to living here again. I know I was only gone for three weeks but it was three weeks of lifetime experiences that I will never forget. So the next time you go to a restaurant, be aware of how your water glass is never empty, and just know how lucky you are. Or maybe be grateful for having a plethora of options in what to wear that day. Just know how lucky you are to live in America, and do anything you can to help any less fortunate person. Please.
*Sorry for the lack of pictures, it is taking me forever to go through all of mine.