I can't do it.

I know I've already made a "goodbye" post and everything but I just can't do it. I can't say goodbye to some people. This post is mainly about my boys and a few others. The boys upstairs and downstairs and others I've met. They are all just too wonderful for me to let go. I know they have to go on missions and serve the Lord. But part of me wishes that they had gone before I met them, then met them, then spend four years with them. Each one of them means something different to me. I don't really mean to get all sappy again but then again I do because maybe this will just help me move on...So, this is what each one of you means to me:


Danny B: You've just been there across the hall for me. You've been the nicest person ever to me and I know that if I need a hug, you're the guy to go to. I don't know why I started crying when I said bye to you. It just sort of came out of nowhere. It was a good cry though. I'll see you at least one more time before you leave and of course I will write you. I have a bet to make with you at your farewell and I mean it. It is going to be a legit bet and I will win. I'll tell you about it later :) I love you Daniel!!! We better still be friends when you get back even if you don't come back to SUU. I mean it!

Tyler: Heck Tyler! You have become one of my best friends at SUU and I'm so glad that I met you. I don't know why I just started balling the night you texted me but I'm really glad you did text me. You're just really easy to talk to and I can basically talk to you about anything. Your farewell will be one of the hardest ones. And I will write you and Daniel, (along with Devin of course) A LOT. So sorry if you get sick of my letters, which I doubt you will. But then again, I'm not sorry haha. And if you don't write me back i'll be upset. Then you and the other boys can compare letter stacks! I'm excited to write you but not excited to say goodbye for two years. I really super duper hope you come back to SUU but if you don't then I guess i'll forgive you ;) I love you Tyler!!! Don't you forget it.

Jake: Big! You are the sweetest, most kind hearted person I know!!! Every time I have talked to you, you have seemed so interested and just caring. Thank you for letting me borrow your freezer, and pen, and black sheet multiple times. haha. You have really been a life saver quite a few times. And I'm so glad when you would answer the door because I always thought Tanner hated me for knocking so many times, since he could guess it was me every time. I'm also really happy that you were always there when the other boys weren't so I could still get my daily hug in :) I just was in a better mood after seeing you because you always seemed in a good mood. I will definitely miss you a lot!!! Don't worry, I'll write you too :) I might not be able to make your farewell but I will see you at Tyler and Daniels'. I love you Jake!!! :)

I don't have a picture with Jake :( But I'll get one!

Tommy: Thomas. I don't even know where to begin. I really hate that we only started hanging out this second semester. That's probably only one of my regrets but hey, we didn't know! I think you are such a hilarious person...sometimes a little too much haha. When I write you, and right now, I'm going to tell you that you can't tommy it on your mission. It is not allowed! You'll be sent back in a jiffy if you tommy things. And I CAN tell you that. hmph. Well I think we got closer over Spring Break for sure. It just sucks that it took that long to realize that we would be such good friends! I'll miss your inappropriate jokes and trying to figure out if you are gay, a pedophile, or both...(i'm kidding by the way) I hope you know that. I'll be writing you a lot also :) I love you Tommy!!

I don't have a picture with just tommy either...

Mitch: Mitch Hussey! I will miss you so much! Me and Kaleigh will never tell you what "mitch" means :) Thank you for helping me with my internet problem that one time and giving me all that great music! I'm sorry if you didn't approve of me and Kay's music choices but we still had fun right? I'll think of you every time I listen to the new Switchfoot album. And if I go to a concert, I'll write you and tell you all about it. I like how we could have fun conversations but also serious ones. I think we had the same thought process most of the time, but maybe that was just me. I think you have special powers that you never told anyone because you had a dream of where you were going on your mission and you got called there. CRAZY! Well, I will miss the conversations and fun times we had. I'll write you :) I love you Mitch!

Adam: Oh Adam...the taco man. I love how EVERY tuesday you'd put a status saying it was taco Tuesday, as if people forgot...Sorry I only went once but I had free meals in the dinning hall! I'll miss the fun times we had and helping Dani prank you :) I won't tell you what pranks I helped with, but I helped you once too! Thank you for letting me use your DVD player a few times. Second semester definitely wouldn't have been the same without you. You're just so funny and cool! You better tell me as soon as you know where you're going on your mission. Maybe you'll have a dream about it like Mitch did. If so, then tell me about it. Thank you for texting me and keeping me company while I was waiting for my flight to come home. I won't miss your tweeting 24/7...okay I might miss it. But really, is that billboard real? I'll write you and tell you about all the new taco bell stuff..but I probably really won't because I don't like taco bell. But I'll write you anyways :) I love you Adam!

Landon: Landon! I love you! You are super nice and fun to be around! I'm glad you asked me on that date, because it was super fun! Thank you for always being there when I needed to talk to someone. It's always nice to have a male friend to talk to because it's always a different view from girls. I'm so glad you found my sunglasses! If you wouldn't have, who knows if we would still be friends. Just kidding! We will always be friends :) I'm SO UPSET that I didn't get to say goodbye to you on my last day at school! Stupid PA stuff. But I will really try my best to go to your farewell. REALLY try. I'm almost making it a must go to thing. I will really really miss you so much! You always made me feel like I was important and like I meant something. I'll miss that for sure. I'll also miss how much you like comics. It's great :) Well I already told you I'd write you and I will keep the promise that I will :) I love you Landon!

Glen: Glen! Thank you so much for always being there when I needed a friend or someone to talk to. I felt like I could just pour my heart out to you and you would just put up with it and listen. Sorry if it was too much sometimes but sometimes I just had to let it out ya know? You gave really good advice to me and yes, you were my Dr. Phil. Besides the advice part, you were just there in general for me when I needed a hug, or just someone to hang out with. I think you'll be a fantastic missionary and the people of New York will fall in love with you. I think it was perfect that you got called there. The Lord definitely knows you and the desires of your heart :) Good luck out there and thanks for waking up just to say goodbye to me! Be looking forward to my letters :) Love you Glen!

The only picture I really have with glen....hahaha

Ethan: Ethan! We've had good times :) It's been fun hanging out second semester! You are super nice and friendly and love to give hugs :) I love your hugs! You always seemed to know when I needed a hug and I appreciate that. Hopefully we can go long boarding this summer or something! I'll try to let you know when I'm back in Cedar. For sure, I will be there May 29-June 29 but I'll have work and classes but we will try our best to hang out. Thank you for being there when I just needed to talk and let things out. You are a really good listener and don't make me feel like i'm over thinking things or anything. So thanks! When you get your call, you better tell me! And when you go, I'll write you too :) Love you Ethan :)

Sorry I don't have a picture with you either Ethan! 

Benjamin: Benjamin! :) Man, there is so much to say! I feel really special being the only girl you gave hugs to. But then again, I enforced it...it was always me giving you the hugs haha. But there were a few times you hugged me first. Those were the best days ever! I'm SO SORRY that we never got to go on our date. I still feel horrible about that!!! You don't even understand how horrible I feel. And it was going to be an epic date too! I'm upset that you didn't say bye before you left though.. so maybe I'll just call it even :) You better tell me where and when you go on your mission! I want to find out from you! Hopefully I can go to your farewell but I have no idea what the future has in store.  I think you will miss my hugs to be honest. I'll miss yours! Well, be looking for my letters because they will be coming! Love ya Ben :)

I don't have a picture with Ben but this is something we made together :)

Kendall: Kendall! I'm so glad I met you this year! That first photo-shoot I did of you was fun and it is still one of my favorite pictures to this day. I think that photo-shoot was one of the reasons I started climbing actually. I love it now! I'm kind of sad that we didn't get to go together but maybe we will if you come back to SUU! Playing pool with you was one of the funnest things ever! I will never forget that one last shot I told you not to take but you did anyways and we lost! It's okay, I forgive you :) And we will have a re-match when you come back! I'm sooo excited that you are going to San Diego for your mission! I told my mom to call me if you ever get called to my ward. That would be SO AWESOME. I would just laugh if I saw you. Imagine how weird that would be? I'll write you and draw you pictures :) Love ya Kendall!

Mark: Marky Mark! okay, it really sucks that we just met like three weeks before school got over. REALLY SUCKS. But it's a good thing you live so close to my grandma's house! Sorry if you get sick of me over the summer but I don't think you will :) I'm just glad I have a friend to hang out with when I'm there! I really love hanging out with you. It's just easy to have fun around you and talk to you. And we can go rock climbing together!! Hopefully we can go real rock climbing! Or, me and you could go to your first concert ever! That'd be fun! I'm just really glad that I met you when I did rather than not have met you. I better be invited when you open your call and to go to your farewell! I'll be offended if I'm not. When you're on your mission I'll write you a lot as well! I just hope you write me back :) Love ya mark! See you this summmmmerrrrrr :)

And many more memories with all of them :)

The night I had two dates!

One of the last group photos :(

Bowling night!

Our dates at the ball!

Tyler's house during Christmas break!

The whole gang.

You know...just some of my boys...

Piggy back ride!

Bon Fire :)

"Put another X on the calendar, summer's on its deathbed. There is simply nothing worse than knowing how it ends."-Panic

I know summer isn't on its deathbed but I guess in a way it is. But we all know by the end of this summer all the boys will be gone...live it up everyone!

"Oh memories, where'd you go? You're all I've ever known. How I miss yesterday and how I let it fade away"-Panic

Okay so I'm pretty sure there will be a lot more posts about leaving, the boys leaving, summer, etc. But you don't have to read them :)

I love you guys! :)